Having A Baby

No... I am far from it hahaha!:)

I visited an Ob-gyne for some concerns over my hormonal problem. I was diagnosed clinically of Polycycstic Ovarian Syndrome in 2006 but the symptoms of this hormonal problem seems to have started way back high school. It is one of the causes for infertility and difficulty in conceiving.

For those who do not know what PCOS is, this condition leads to follicles growing in the ovaries that should have matured to one egg but instead does not due to imbalance of hormones. Normal women would release one egg every month and if not fertilize then mensturation will follow. In my case, no egg matures at all. This condition seems to be more evident in female members of families with a history of diabetes or in obese women. I am in fact clinically diagnosed as obese type 1 (Asian standards) but some PCOS women may be thin as well. Overall, a transrectal or transvaginal ultrasound will be the determinant if a woman has PCOS or not.

Why am I writing this in my wedding blog? Well it got me thinking of the next step after marriage which is raising a family.

I am quite surprised of my ob-gyne's reaction that I am "hurrying" on getting pregnant if I would get married by the age of 29. It seems to be the normal reaction I always get from ob-gyne doctors I have been to before but I do not really comprehend why there is a need to tell me that. It is almost, always done in good nature though and I am aware of the risk factors of late pregnancy in both women and the child plus add to that my condition which makes it difficult to begin with.

But really?! Do I need to know that? I mean, is it not now a norm in society and the medical field for women to get married late and have babies late and still produce healthy babies. Not only do I hear it from doctors, but family and friends seem to have the same opinion as well. Like time is running out on me hahaha! And frankly, I am getting more worried as years pass by.

I almost got myself thinking why JP and I have a long engagement and not just get married civilly and have babies.  Why not?

Then it hit me. Raising a kid is a lifetime choice that you have to at least be physically, mentally, emotionally and a bit financially prepared for. Having a baby changes everything. It makes your life turn 360 degrees more than getting married will. You are now responsible to feeding a child, fending for them, raising them and being responsible for what they would become in society and what they will contribute in the future. It is far more different than just owning a pet or tending to a plant. A child is like you and me, a full human being.

I have seen the struggles of my friends who are new parents. I understand that you will never be fully prepared in all aspects in raising a kid. In fact, JP said that he will only be prepared if our child is there otherwise, he would always think he is ill-equipped to be a Dad. But I want to feel for myself that whatever problems and challenges that will come, I am willing to handle. A baby is cute until it cries, whines, poops and all that... I AM NOT READY YET FOR IT!:)

So I figure, if I decide to get pregnant by the age of 30 and I am saying now that I will, no one can ever affect me. I rather have a child at a time that I am quite sure the least that I can be responsible for him/her than be half-bake about the whole idea just because I am getting older or I have a hormonal problems.

I have faith in God that He will provide.

Someday I will be a mommy but for now, I am okay where I am and nobody needs to tell me otherwise. :)