Having A Baby

No... I am far from it hahaha!:)

I visited an Ob-gyne for some concerns over my hormonal problem. I was diagnosed clinically of Polycycstic Ovarian Syndrome in 2006 but the symptoms of this hormonal problem seems to have started way back high school. It is one of the causes for infertility and difficulty in conceiving.

For those who do not know what PCOS is, this condition leads to follicles growing in the ovaries that should have matured to one egg but instead does not due to imbalance of hormones. Normal women would release one egg every month and if not fertilize then mensturation will follow. In my case, no egg matures at all. This condition seems to be more evident in female members of families with a history of diabetes or in obese women. I am in fact clinically diagnosed as obese type 1 (Asian standards) but some PCOS women may be thin as well. Overall, a transrectal or transvaginal ultrasound will be the determinant if a woman has PCOS or not.

Why am I writing this in my wedding blog? Well it got me thinking of the next step after marriage which is raising a family.

I am quite surprised of my ob-gyne's reaction that I am "hurrying" on getting pregnant if I would get married by the age of 29. It seems to be the normal reaction I always get from ob-gyne doctors I have been to before but I do not really comprehend why there is a need to tell me that. It is almost, always done in good nature though and I am aware of the risk factors of late pregnancy in both women and the child plus add to that my condition which makes it difficult to begin with.

But really?! Do I need to know that? I mean, is it not now a norm in society and the medical field for women to get married late and have babies late and still produce healthy babies. Not only do I hear it from doctors, but family and friends seem to have the same opinion as well. Like time is running out on me hahaha! And frankly, I am getting more worried as years pass by.

I almost got myself thinking why JP and I have a long engagement and not just get married civilly and have babies.  Why not?

Then it hit me. Raising a kid is a lifetime choice that you have to at least be physically, mentally, emotionally and a bit financially prepared for. Having a baby changes everything. It makes your life turn 360 degrees more than getting married will. You are now responsible to feeding a child, fending for them, raising them and being responsible for what they would become in society and what they will contribute in the future. It is far more different than just owning a pet or tending to a plant. A child is like you and me, a full human being.

I have seen the struggles of my friends who are new parents. I understand that you will never be fully prepared in all aspects in raising a kid. In fact, JP said that he will only be prepared if our child is there otherwise, he would always think he is ill-equipped to be a Dad. But I want to feel for myself that whatever problems and challenges that will come, I am willing to handle. A baby is cute until it cries, whines, poops and all that... I AM NOT READY YET FOR IT!:)

So I figure, if I decide to get pregnant by the age of 30 and I am saying now that I will, no one can ever affect me. I rather have a child at a time that I am quite sure the least that I can be responsible for him/her than be half-bake about the whole idea just because I am getting older or I have a hormonal problems.

I have faith in God that He will provide.

Someday I will be a mommy but for now, I am okay where I am and nobody needs to tell me otherwise. :)

Veil Inspirations

I have always wanted to wear a MANTILLA veil eversince I imagined myself getting married.

Mantilla veils came from Spain and is traditionally worn by women going to church. For me, it looks so elegant and vintage. It illuminates the face of the bride rather than hiding it. I feel that it frames the face more and focuses the attention of the guests to how the bride looks on her wedding rather than them looking at the dress itself. Here are some pictures of a mantilla veil:

Just like Mandy Moore's character wore in A Walk To Remember :)

I really love anything with lace trimming in it. I was really decided to have a mantilla veil when I stumbled upon this:



BRIDAL LACE CAPS!<3

Now I am torn. :(

Both are vintage in style and both will deliver the look I want for myself when I walk down the aisle. The bridal lace caps are a bit ahead in my book since only a few brides in the Philippines had used it (I am guessing) and it will be a nice break from the monotony of bridal veils.

I still have over 14 more months to figure out what I want. :)

Enriching My Personality~ A Little Break from the Wedding Preps :)

***I chance upon this contest at Jane's blog and decided to join in. The question you have to answer is this: "What makes John Robert Power’s Personality Development Workshop the best thing to do today?” I immediately gather the guts to submit an entry and pray hard that I win it.;) You may visit her blog here about the contest: http://www.janedchua.com/2011/05/09/power-up-your-potential-at-john-robert-powers-contest/#comments or hook her up on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pages/Between-Bites/181753655196538 and Twitter: http://twitter.com/betweenbites

You see, if you were to ask my family and my closes friends what they think about my personality and appearance, they would only say one thing: “MAGANDA NAMAN YAN SI KRYSTLE, WAG LANG YAN KIKILOS AT MAGSASALITA”

You might be thinking why they have the same comment, well it is because I am not your typical girl. I talk way too loud, I dress way too casually and if the situation does not call for it, I am boyish and laidback. Add to it that I am 28 years old already. It never bothered me before. In my mind, I take pride in the fact that I am your what-you-see-is-what-you-get type of gal. But things changed when I started building a career for myself.

Taken from my 27th bday but basically this is what I wear in the office... EVERYDAY;P

I admit though that in spite of my confidence, inside me is a girl who is very self-conscious of her outside appearance. Maybe that is also the reason why I do not know how to react properly to certain situations by way of social graces and to dress and speak appropriately. I do not have problems asserting myself with people but I do have a problem with HOW I assert myself. It is not enough that you have the confidence to know what you want, when you want it and what to do about getting what you want.  I realize that you also need to know HOW to get the things you want for yourself.

In starting out with my career in assisting in international development projects, I quickly learned that dynamism must also be countered with proper self-imaging if I want to get somewhere. One thing I learned is that, first impression in a work environment propels you to better work opportunities. I do not want my colleagues in this profession that I am aiming for to say the exact same thing my family and closes friends have about my personality and appearance. In fact, I want for them to stop saying it altogether.

And for this reason and for today, I highly feel that it is very important for me to attend the John Robert Powers’ Personality Development Workshop. I have a dream for my career. I want to make my dream a reality, even if it means that I need to add up to my confidence the necessary skills to project a better image of myself. I am my own “brand manager”, so to speak and how I project my confidence in my appearance, social graces and the way I speak will bring me closer to what I want for my career in the future.

And grace as I walk down the aisle next year would definitely be a plus!:)